Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
