I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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