just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
