is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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