There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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