I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
