I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
