I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
