my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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