So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
