Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
