i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Life is so much better after having sex.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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