Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
