If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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