I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
