barbara walters just said penis...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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