Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
