If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
