It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
