Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
