just tell him i said nine months
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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