you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
