well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
