Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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