yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
