i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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