No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
