just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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