Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
