Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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