Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
