can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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