The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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