wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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