Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
