Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
