I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
