So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
