If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
