meet me or not, i'm out of control
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
