I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
