Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Sorry about my life...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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