Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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