I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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