I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
