Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
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