Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
