ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
