Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
