I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
