I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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